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Those of you who are following my travel plans will be interested to know that I received an email today from a Monsieur Laurence Dramoel at SNCF.

Monsieur Dramoel was responding to my query about the cancellation and partial reimbursement for a train ticket that I will not be using next month.

I really try not to be the idiot who asks the obvious question. Even when I don’t really understand what’s going on due to my tenuous grasp on the local language. So in an effort to avoid the label “l’americaine stupide,” I spent nearly two hours clicking all over the SNCF web site to find the “Cancel My Reservation” button which, I was certain, had to be somewhere.

Why was I going to all this trouble over a non-refundable ticket, you ask? Well, funny story. Last week, upon inspection of my credit card statement, I found an unexpected charge from “ELVIA ASSURANCE BAGNOLET.”  Unsure of whether this was a charge I had personally authorized, I typed the company name into the Google search engine and found …

I had accidentally purchased travel insurance.

I guess that’s what happens when you shop online in a language you mostly pretend to speak.

This only served to validate my stubborn insistence that I shouldn’t have to pay for a service that I will not be using, even it is a non-refundable service. Thus began my obsessive scouring of the internet.

This “Cancel My Reservation” button … it does not exist. I know this. I understand this. But I can’t help but suspect that the cancellation instructions are on the SNCF web site … somewhere … hidden behind a Stupid American Firewall.

Unsuccessful after two hours, I located the web address for the travel insurance company I had accidentally patronized. Their site was quite user friendly and assured prompt reimbursement for cancellation. I was encouraged.

The process began with the completion of a lengthy online form in which I was to document (en français, of course) my reason for cancellation. No problem. Between my high school education, my book of French verbs, and Google Translate, I could handle that. Last step … complete my contact info with complete address, including a drop-down menu from which to select my country of residence.

There were dozens of countries to choose from. There was no USA.

And yes. I did look for les Etats-Unis. They weren’t there either.

Now readers, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor about Franco-American relations. I am of the opinion that the French reputation for snootiness is, well … if not undeserved, at least justifiable. We American tourists can be … kind of obnoxious. Now don’t get me wrong, When I travel, I don’t pretend to be Canadian or anything. But when I encounter any hint of anti-American sentiment from a French person I shrug it off, turn on the charm, and wait for the moment that their crusty exterior inevitably gives way to a warm, chewy center. (No, wait. That’s their baked goods.)

But seriously … my country doesn’t appear on a drop-down menu?

I decided it was time to admit that I may just be une americaine stupide. So I found the contact address for SNCF customer service and sent a simple note:

“Si c’est possible, je veux annuler ma réservation (dossier TBSCAI) et obtenir unremboursement du tarif normal adulte. Merci pour votre aide.”

Translation:

“If possible, I’d like to cancel my reservation (file TBSCAI) and obtain a reimbursement of the normal adult fare. Thank you for your help.”

I composed this carefully-worded note on January 4, 2012. Then I patiently waited. And waited.

Today (January 11, 2010) I received the following reply:

Bonjour Mademoiselle ROEDER,

Vous ne parvenez pas à annuler votre commande dans l’espace «Vos réservations».
Soucieux de répondre au mieux à vos attentes,
vos remarques ont été remontées aux équipes techniques.
Le dysfonctionnement a été identifié et sera corrigé prochainement.
Dans l’attente, pour annuler votre billet,
rendez-vous dans une Borne Libre Service ou au guichet SNCF,ou contactez un vendeur au 3635 (0,34cts d’euros/min) .

Souhaitant conserver votre confiance,

Laurence DRANOEL

 Translation:

Hello Miss Roeder,

No.

Laurence Dranoel

SNCF: Ce n’est pas fini.

(Reminder: I shop on web sites in unfamiliar languages because I refuse to pay what amounts to a Stupid Tourist Tax. In other words, I am cheap.)

(Postscript: I have now spent five hours attempting to recover 62€. I will probably spend at least another hour doing so in Paris next month. In other words, I am too stubborn for my own good.)